In Matthew 18:6, Jesus says, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” It’s a chilling scripture, one that Ruby Franke, a devout believer, seemingly overlooked in her quest to “discipline” her children. Ruby’s actions — abandoning, starving, and abusing her kids — are a stark contrast to the values she professed to follow. Ruby believed she was on a mission from God, claiming she was casting demons out of her children, and even convinced herself that she was a good person who had done nothing wrong. This distorted view of reality may have been influenced by her mentor and alleged lover, Jodi Hildebrandt, but let’s not jump ahead just yet.
The Hulu documentary Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke has taken TikTok by storm, and after watching the three-episode series, I can't help but agree with the flood of judgmental comments. The series raised so many questions, left me scratching my head, and even screaming at the TV. I had to break it all down in bullet points.
1.The Origin of Franke Family Vlogs
Ruby's Husband, Kevin Franke, mentioned that Ruby started the vlog because she wanted to be acknowledged as a good mom. I guess upon her realizing parenthood sometimes is a thankless job, she was seeking validation from the world, and she initially was receiving that love. The Frankes were seen as a loving and close family. The oldest two children, Shari Franke and Chad Franke were either the idol or heartthrob for teenagers, and everyone idolized the family.
Over time, the honeymoon phase sizzled, and everyone, including the husband, was tired of their scripted life. Ruby became obsessed with vlogging and in her mind merging fantasy with reality until it seemed like she was more interested in appearing to be a good mom rather than actually being one. She was yelling at her kids, which in my opinion, I don't know any parents that are always soft-spoken with their kids. But what was alarming was her deliberate stance of starving her children and cruel punishments when her children did not act according to the gospel of Ruby. Because of this control, I believe that is the true reason why her kids "acted out of control" because that was the only way they could express their discomfort.
2. Was Ruby Franke Brainwashed?
I tried to find a story of Ruby Franke's upbringing but came up short. All the documentary mentioned was that she was raised Mormon and had a comprehensive list of her male suitors. Kevin admitted to changing who he was to fit this list and win her heart, which, by the way, was a major red flag of the lengths he would go through to be with Ruby, but we will get to him later.
The only thing I conjured up about her parents were their plea to the court to allow the "judge to show 'as much mercy' as possible ahead of her sentencing this week for child abuse, saying their daughter had been brainwashed."
However, I don't know if many people realized how abusive she was before she met Jodi. There is an actual recording on TikTok of Ruby telling one of her daughter's teachers that her 4-year-old should go hungry because she did not fix her lunch. Yes, you read that correctly—the 4-year-old was responsible for making her lunch. Not to mention in the documentary Chad slept on a tiny beanbag for 7 months because his room was taken away. And also the innumerable video clips in the documentary manipulating her children into thinking she owed an apology from them for acting like the typical child in their age range.
By the time Jodi entered the Frankes' lives, Ruby was deep into abusing her children. I do believe the extensive validation she received from Jodi justified her behavior, which allowed her to take the abuse to higher heights. We have to remember that she started the vlogs to be validated as a good mother, and Jodi was giving her what she craved, which is why I believe the obsession with the ConneXions program began. There is also the factor that at that time in Ruby's life, she was losing followership on YouTube, which in turn meant losing validation.
With the new obsession with her new mentor validating her crazy behavior, she threw the fantasy act out the window and dived straight into this heightened disciplinary approach. I have seen that when certain people fall from popularity, they become the person they are being criticized as because it's still attention. I believe she felt free in this state in her life, and I think other people in her neighborhood did too because they admittedly followed her and joined the ConneXions program. So, do I think Ruby was brainwashed? Yes and No. I think her delusions and distorted beliefs were fueled to another level by someone who was more delusional than her.
3. Was Kevin and Chad Brainwashed?
In short, I believe yes, both Kevin and Chad were brainwashed, but not in identical ways. Kevin's interview on the documentary was uncomfortable because a part of me is uneasy that he experienced Ruby's abusive ways while living in the household and never seemed to address it. Matter of fact, Ruby was the backbone of the family, and all Kevin was focused on was being loved by Ruby. It was almost as if he was cast in a love spell. He never pushed back on the children or being recorded 24/7, and he never seemed to object to her crazy punishments. When Ruby kicked him out of the house, he was like, "Ok," and he literally cut off contact with all six children as he was instructed. When out of the house, the neighbors were trying to warn him, and he ignored or blocked their number, becoming a recluse.
While watching this documentary, I wondered if this man was defeated or was he really in love with his wife like this? I really think it was love. Kevin implied that Ruby was his first everything, and he even admitted that he was a nerd. I think Kevin actually intertwined his identity to pleasing her and somehow felt important and cool that she chose to be with him. The documentary did not cover his upbringing either, so it's hard to say what created this obsession with Ruby over his children.
Kevin seemed to be a person who craved validation as well, and Jodi knew that about both of them and used it to her advantage. At the start of Kevin joining the ConneXions program, Jodi made him the prototype of the model husband. This, in turn, inflated his ego until Jodi flipped the switch and started to berate him in future meetings. She accused him of being everything he wasn't, and he believed her. He believed her so much that he allowed Jodi to move into his house and his wife to start sleeping in the same bedroom as her. Either Kevin had a great ignore system or was just that mesmerized by anything Ruby was mesmerized about and allowed Jodi to take over his house. All while watching the documentary, I was screaming at the TV like, "Dude, wake up!" Then I realized that maybe he was still under the ConneXions program brainwashing because now he is advocating for his children and fighting for custody.
As much as I believe children should stay with family, I was so disturbed by the fact that he was still protecting Ruby even after hearing what she did to his children. He refused to see the pictures during the interrogation and, in my opinion, didn't hold himself accountable for simply not being there for them. When Ruby called, he was so excited that she called and believed that what she did was for the reason of exorcising demons.
When separated from Ruby and the 5 children, he and Chad were still attending the ConneXions meetings even when they had the choice not to. Kevin never felt like he had a choice to do what I believe he knew was right, and that is why I think the state was smart to not instantly give him custody. He was as dangerous as Ruby because he still believed the delusions. I do wonder why Ruby's parents or brother did not vouch to take the two youngest children, but there was nothing I could find about that online.
Chad was a child when meeting Jodi, and like his dad, he hinged on Ruby's every word. He started to believe Jodi's teaching and let's be honest, he was at an impressionable age. Even when moving apart from his dad, he maintained a job, but I still believe he was attending those meetings, and he was in awe when he found out the news about his mom. Nowadays, I believe Chad is just trying to move forward and rebuild a connection with his dad and siblings, but I still wonder if he still has trouble differentiating fantasy from reality. He was indeed brainwashed, and I don't fault him—I fault both of his parents.
4. Was Shari the Saving Grace?
In my opinion, Shari was the only one in the family that was realistic. As the oldest, she had the luxury to leave the house, and because Ruby said once the children turned 18, they had to be out. When in college, she returned home to visit the family, and she was the only one who felt a bad vibe from Jodi. When the family excommunicated her, she still did wellness check calls for the siblings and checked with neighbors to see how her siblings were doing.
There were a lot of people on TikTok saying, "Why didn’t she come to the house and get her siblings?" But she tried once, and her mother met her on the porch and told her that she felt Shari was not part of the family and cut off her car and medical insurance. This is a sidebar... The documentary never mentioned Ruby having a job besides YouTube, but at this time her Youtube numbers had plummeted, so I am assuming maybe Kevin's job was responsible for handling the family's medical insurance, and he was responsible for canceling her insurance. Now, this is speculation because I don't know. What I do know is Shari doesn't address either of her parents as mom and dad. She was denounced and was like, "I am staying denounced because y'all got me messed up." She has expressed never speaking to her mom again, but I am not sure if she has reconciled with her dad and brother Chad.
In my eyes, she's the hero because she did what she could within her capacity. We cannot expect Shari, who was a child herself and dealing with major abandonment, to have known to do more. I really think people should give her grace and grab her book if they want to know all of the "inside the house" details.
5. Jodi, girl, who hurt you?
Although everyone is blaming Jodi for the downfall of Ruby, by the time her and Ruby met, Ruby was already rolling down the holy river, and Jodi rescued her. But who is she, and where did she come from, and what happened to her? So, after as much digging as my short attention span could handle, I found out that she is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), like the Frankes, which explains why her teachings were so impactful to the Frankes and other members of the church.
"Jodi Hildebrandt is LDS or a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, although her teachings are not in line with the LDS church. She heavily mixes in the doctrine of the LDS church so Mormon people will trust more of what she is selling. As people progress from her basic classes to more advanced group classes, LDS doctrine is mixed even more heavily with her teachings."
Before ConneXions, Jodi was as a therapist whose focus was relationships and parenting. She was known to help other LDS couples, but some former clients later found that her style of counseling was unorthodox and emotionally abusive. The bizarre thing is she began to tie her teachings into the Frankes' lives to dominate their minds. She distorted Ruby's religious beliefs which led her to disregard her children's bodily autonomy because the Lord told her otherwise.
Prior to specializing in couples and parenting, she treated individuals struggling with porn addiction, an approach that was later incorporated into her ConneXions program. Although porn addiction is not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), it remains a significant concern within the LDS community.
Pornography is considered a serious sin in the church and, according to Dr. John Dehlin—a former therapist and host of the podcast Mormon Stories, which examines issues within LDS culture—some even perceive it as a gateway to severe crimes, including murder. Dr. Dehlin explains that LDS teachings reinforce the belief that men are "sexual animals," while women serve as "gatekeepers" of morality (Source: NBC News). This could also help explain why Kevin played a more passive role in the marriage.
What’s even more disturbing is that the ConneXion website is still live, and Pam Bodtcher and Ruby are still listed as partners. In the documentary, on the day the two youngest children were found, the two middle Franke children were at Pam’s house. Ruby mentioned that Pam would ask for the kids to visit to essentially clean her house, so it does not seem like a safe haven for the children.
Although she was detained—because, obviously, she was a participant—she may avoid charges because the police failed to read her Miranda rights at the time of her arrest. Since Pam and Jodi are lifelong friends, these ConneXion meetings may still be happening somewhere—we just don’t know.
On the ConneXion website, the prices for joining this cult were outrageous. The workbook alone was relatively affordable at $35, but if you wanted to extend the course, it would cost you a staggering $695. This pricing reveals a lot about Jodi’s intentions—she was clearly targeting people who could afford these exorbitant fees, exploiting them for financial gain.
The high costs served as an incentive for people to attend meetings, but it also means that these individuals, many of whom were probably already struggling emotionally, were now financially bound to the program. I feel a strong sense of disdain for people like Jodi, who prey on individuals for their own profit, with no regard for the harm they inflict. Just look at her $5 million house—it's clear she was living in luxury, all thanks to the suffering and manipulation of others.
Two Cents
Although this post is sprinkled with my personal opinion, I do think the Hulu documentary did a remarkable job of presenting the facts of the story. They had over 1,000 hours of unreleased video footage, which has slowly been leaked as the case gained more attention. The raw and unscripted interviews revealed how deeply mesmerized and brainwashed Ruby, Chad and Kevin were. It was unsettling to watch, but also enlightening, as we could see how deeply they had fallen under Jodi’s influence.
One particularly disturbing aspect of the documentary was the portrayal of the neighbors. Some of them seemed to want to distance themselves from the situation, but it became apparent that they were also involved in the ConneXion program. One neighbor claimed to have seen Ruby's car missing and her children standing alone in the window, and even called for wellness checks, but then denied seeing any abuse and Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) could not take action.
The scariest part is that the ConneXion program may still be active. Cults are notoriously resilient, and their survival is often tied to the loyalty and belief of their members, not just the leader. Even though Jodi is incarcerated, we don’t know how many people are still involved in the program, and if other children are being subjected to similar treatment. The potential for more victims is terrifying.
Finally, I want to send my heartfelt prayers to the children who endured this ordeal. I'm glad to know they are safe now. If Kevin is granted custody of the two youngest children, I pray that his intentions are genuine. I hope that he does follow through on his legal actions against Jodi and Ruby and that he is not masking his brainwashed beliefs and using the media as an opportunity to gain custody and continue the cycle of abuse. The children deserve to be raised in a safe, loving environment free from manipulation and harm and I pray that happens for them. (Sources: Yahoo article and ABC News article)
Have you watched the documentary? Please share your thoughts.