In my lifetime, I’ve often found myself looking for others’ seal of approval or waiting to hear someone utter the mere words ” I’m proud of you”. No matter what I did or accomplished I got frustrated because my actions remained unnoticed. I felt like I was not under anyone’s radar.
This feeling of invisibility had me questioning myself and my purpose. I started to nourish this thought and it later transistioned into feeling inadequate. It made me feel like no one was trying to understand me. This thought pattern deflated my zest to walk towards my goals and my deposition was straight negative.
Then It Happened…
Over time this stinkin’ thinking took a toll on my self-respect and self-worth. I hit a point where I had to change this habit and quit beating myself up over a mere opinion I created. I started meditating in search of balance and during one of those sessions I thought to myself, “I’m proud of me”.
Whoa! This instantly flipped my perspective! I started to manifest that sentence and it restored my sense of purpose. I had to learn that whether someone was noticing me or not, I was to predicate my accomplishments on what I want rather than what someone else wanted me to. Also, with those accomplishments I had to learn to pat myself on the back and not wait for someone else to do it for me. It turns out that I was not invisible, I simply looking out myself to gain confidence.
It was refreshing to congratulate me for my accomplishments. Yes, my parents encouraged education but I earned my Bachelors and Masters for me. I started this platform to help others because I had that need to encourage. With this flip of perspective, I started gravitating to the mirror and noticed how beautiful I am, inside and out. All of me is gorgeous; from the dark circles under eyes, the myriad of freckles on my face, and my coily hair. All 63 inches and 336 pounds of me is magnificent.
I now know that I am required to love me more, respect me more and have faith in myself. I can no longer look outside me to validate who I am and what I’m feeling because no one should know me more than I know myself. I am literally adequate and and important to me. And yes, this is an Ode to me.
In the words of Jill Scott, “[I am] beautiful in every way imaginable.”
I am dope whether someone says it or not. With each step, I am pressing towards my happiness and enhancing my Supa Dupa Flyness.
I chose to spread this energy to anyone that may feel inadequate and invisible. I implore you to SEE YOU and HEAR YOU. Be enough for you and everything else is just a bonus. We are to be the source of our happiness, security, confidence. People may add to these things, but they should never be the source.
I implore you to give yourself that pat on the back you so deserve. You are worth it. Reactivate your dopeness.