A wish list is always beneficial when searching for the right mate. Some people want intelligence, some want good looks, some look for security and others look for financial stability. More than often women looking for financial stability in a mate are labeled as “Gold Diggers” but what exactly is the hangup for women holding her mate to that standard?
Finances are always a tricky topic in relationships. It is often avoided yet can cause the most tension. Either one partner earn more and get frustrated about having to pull most of the weight or one person is careless with money without considering their mate.
Some people have experienced being with a broke person before and vowed “Never Again”. Then there are some that are not interested in working at all and want to be taken care of.
Either way when I think of this topic, I am reminded of the 1986 song, “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent”, sung by Gwen Guthrie.
So, How Important Are Finances to Women?
According to mantelligence.com,
- “In a study of 28,000 heterosexuals, 97% of women believe that it is essential to have a partner who has a steady income, and 69% said that it is important to have a partner who makes or will make a lot of money. (Personality and Individual Differences, 2015)”
- 64% of women prefer to find a husband who earns more money.(Daily Mail, 2011)
Another Interesting fact :
78% of women believe that dressing well is the hottest thing a man can do while 85% think that a man who dresses well is sexier than a man who has a lot of money.
I believe I fit in the last quote as I am totally attracted to intelligence and a well-dressed guy. Although those are my turn-ons, I experienced so many financial headaches dating people I felt took advantage of me financially. Although, I am a gal that does not mind going dutch or helping a brother out, it does become burdensome if it’s never reciprocated. When it comes to marriage in theory, the finances are to be congealed. In reality, most marriages drift apart due to finances and sometimes do not recover from it.
I can honestly admit there was a time my husband and I avoided talking about our finances because we could not agree on anything. Over time we learned each other habits and learn to compromise when making a purchase. We learned it’s respectful to talk to one another before making a financial commitment before moving forward. I found security in that compromise and it made me understand more why women look for financial stability in a mate.
Are Finances Correlated to Stability?
Could it be that women prefer finances because it’s indicative of a solid foundation in a mate? Most financial sound people have a set plan. They already have visions of where they will be in the next 5-10 years. Individuals involved with wealthy mates lack the stress of worrying about what is going to get paid, investments in their future or the direction they are headed to in the future. Having a mate with a plan is beneficial and allows the woman to focus more on the home. Although she thinks the money is causing the stability, I am led to believe it’s the man’s tunnel vision that lends to secure feeling. Just think about it?
Who wants a man with no financial plan in place? I certainly don’t. Where does he see himself in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Is he thinking long or short term? That answer will determine the course of the relationship. Ideally he should be able to think past next month’s car payment and project how much he will have in his savings account by year’s end.
In other words, the underlying trait of the aforementioned 69% is looking for is a guy to lead. Please don’t mistake this as a man leading 1920ish style but women are looking for stability. And to be honest stability is a Great thing to have.
Is there a Downside for only Focusing on the Money?
Off top, the first downfall I detect is missing out on the butterfly feelings from being in love. If a person is only focusing on the money, what does the couple have left if the money leaves? If the base of the relationship is money, what bonds are being formed or genuine moments being established. Basing a relationship on such a tangible aspect is dangerous as it could crumble fast.
The flipside is some relationships have an understandings and if the relationship is based on finances I am sure they learn to cohabitate with that compromise.