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My Sister’s Keeper

The Beginning

Sisterhood starts off so simple!

 It starts off with a conversation of commonalities then later transitions to going out for fun. Months later you’ve learned so much about each other and became each other diaries. Years have passed and they are filled with fun times together, sad times where you comforted each other, low times where you encouraged each other or often just random times that makes up some pretty funny stories. Over time your family has become her family and vice versa and your secrets are her secrets. You are no longer just friends but SISTERS.

What was omitted above was all of the unspoken frustrations that built over time. These unspoken instances include a sister feeling sometimes disrespected by her sisters or overshadowed perhaps the sister had a crush the other sister dated with the knowledge of the crush. There were those times one sister might have had a stronger personality than the other one causing the other sister to resent her. One sister may have been more forgiving than the other or seemed to take more than she gives over time.

Whatever the situation the unspoken occurrences caused a major blow out between friends of what seemed to come out of nowhere. In reality the water was heating up overtime and then…BOOM! The Sisterhood hits its boiling point!

via GIPHY

Is Everything Forgivable in Sisterhood?

I was listening to the Become SHE podcast and one of the speakers said “Everything is forgivable in a Sisterhood?”

EVERYTHING!?!?!!?

via GIPHY

I thought on this statement for an entire weekend and maybe that is true to an extent.

If things are honestly talked out and both parties agree to their side of the mishap maybe they can just pick up where they started. But I believe there are some instances that can terminally break a bond or simply two people can drift apart. But how can she know if the Sisterhood is worth fighting for?

What makes Sisterhood Worth the Investment?

Simple answer. It depends on what this Sisterhood mean to both parties. If one of the sisters can take it or leave most likely it’s not worth her time. However, if both women are willing to be honest with each other no matter how ugly and actively listen to each other, then, it’s worth the investment.

When investing in anything, you are expecting a return. In this instance, it would be the expectation of a return of respect, a return of being better understood and a return of adhering to each other’s boundaries.

What to Invest?

1. Time

The amount of time is respective to the Sisters as we all have responsibilities such as jobs, families and such and such. As you grow older you might not be able to sit on the phone and hang out as much you could when younger and your Sister should be understanding of that. If it’s just a quick text or a weekly call keeping in touch with your Sister is imperative to sustain the bond.

2. Concern

Some instances require more than a text and an actual phone call or meet up session is in order. These instances mainly involve family emergencies, deaths, illnesses mainly anything that is highly impactful. A text and an empty message to “contact me if you need me” is very impersonal and may come off as dismissive. When you love someone you take the time out to make sure they know you care. A text for the most part can always be interpreted differently than its intent which brings me to the next point.

3. Genuineness

Some conversations are to be had face to face or on the phone. Never have a serious conversation by text or email as things can spiral downward fast. Plus, sending electronic messages gives us a superpower of pettiness. We tend to take things too far as we can hide behind our phones and computers. If you are upset with your sister you reserve the right to ask to speak to her another time…but don’t avoid the issue altogether there will come a time where you two would need to honestly talk about it.

4. Energy

As with anything in life you have to spend some energy on your sister. Energy is such an important factor as we know it transfers so it is very important our sister’s energy align with us for the most part. If you find that your sister’s energy is always negative you reserve the right to protect your energy and to let her know. Sometimes people are toxic and unaware that they are toxic or don’t know to what lengths they are toxic. Life has a way of putting us in dark places and sometimes only prayer or a counselor can help. Be sure to be there for your sister as best you can while protecting your energy. Sometimes people don’t need a lecture sometimes they need a sounding board…that is such a key lesson I’ve learned over the years.

5. Love

This may be an obvious one but I thought I would mention this one anyway. It does not take much to show love. If you come across your sister’s favorite flower and candy surprising her with her favorites on a special day or a down day go a long way. Just sending a picture of some shoes or clothing you think she might like can brighten her day. Sisterhood is a relationship and showing each other that you are thinking about each other go a long way. Showing support for her ventures is also a way of showing love. If your sister is a part of an event, opens a small business or even have a blog just a simple share on Social Media goes a long way.

I remember I was at a party and a group of girls started to talk to me about their friend’s blog even before the friend came into my view. They had the website on the back of their shirts for her birthday and anyone could tell her friends’ were investing in her.

How to know it’s a Good Investment

Easy answer. You both feel adequate in the relationship.

Maintaining Sisterhood will not always be easy but if she cares about you she will hear you out even after she calms down. Sisterhood is more than a fun night posted on Facebook it is a commitment to one of the most important people in your life.

With any investment, there is a risk. Anytime you put yourself out there it is a risk. But somethings are so worth the risk. I think about my mom and Godmom’s 50 year Sisterhood and I wonder how many roadblocks they had to overcome and how they sustained their relationship all of this time. It’s a beautiful thing and I cannot wait until 30 years from now when I’m enjoying 50 years of Sisterhood with my Sisters.

Let’s Chat! What are your thoughts?

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4 Comments:

  1. Awesome post! I’ve always told myself that one thing I pride myself in is cherishing and investing in my friendships. My best friend and I have been friends for 23 years; there was a 2 year hiatus in there where we didn’t talk, but once we reconnected it was like we ever grew apart and I feel that was because of the foundation and time we invested. Once you put in the work, you’re reward is a long-lasting bond with someone.

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