I promised myself…
I would not use my blog as a diary, but the more I read other people’s blogs the more I am inspired and realized my blog is purposed as my personal platform. Although I have the license to express myself I want to do it also with the intent of helping others. I am hoping to help others realist they are not alone in this feeling and that we can move past this together…
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary invisible is defined as “being incapable by nature of being seen” or ” inaccessible to view”.
Majority of my life I’ve felt invisible and inconsequential. When I’ve expressed this feeling, I was made to believe it was all in my head but maybe I’ve been on to something.
I’ve had special moments but they are always interrupted with others emotions and issues. I’ve had to set my special moment aside to counsel someone else. Or I had to dilute my happiness to spare someone else’s feelings. Or my ideas were minimized because it was different and the minority thought. Or when I needed to talk everyone is busy. I even had a friend tell me once “It is not fair to isolate yourself just because you’re sad.” These things and more have done more than insinuate how I feel and my state of being unimportant.
Out of all feelings, why Invisible?
I guess I could have left this feeling at unimportant. By stating the feeling of invisible this push towards the feeling of wanting to be seen. Well…yea…duh. I know wanting to be seen is stigmatized as being needy and narcissistic. Well I see nothing wrong about wanting to be acknowledged or being listened to. What is wrong for someone to reach out to you just to see how you are doing. Or someone to listen to you without cutting you off.
Before this blog gets dramatic…I just wanted my actions to be reciprocated and when I saw they weren’t then I stopped reaching out. Does it make me better by this? No…it just helps me grow bitter by the day. All the world needs is another bitter person…and frankly I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be bitter and I don’t want to be the cause of making someone else feel bitter. By making someone else feel unimportant then I am placing a seed of insecurity in them. I know what that feels like so why would I inflict that in someone else.
So my other option is learning how to overcome this…which will be later explained in part 2.
Can you relate to this feeling? If so, how do you deal with this feeling?