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Growing Into Myself
Written By: Wrae Sanders
Life can be pretty weird sometimes. Things can be calm, planned out and great. Then curveballs show up and you have to figure out where to go next. It’s hard to know if where you are going is where you should be. It’s hard to know if you want to go where life is taking you.
I had to grow into myself (again) at the age of 33. I’d just lost a close friend to suicide, quit my job and was completely lost. I knew it was time to start all over, but how? My confidence was gone. I was angry, sad and confused. My marriage was in shambles. This was not a good way to grow and move on.
About a month after my friend’s death, I made the decision to start seeing a therapist. Grief is a life-changing experience, something I struggle with two years later. At the time, I wasn’t handling it well. Therapy isn’t seen as a great thing in some circles- it’s not always seen as a good thing to “open up to strangers”, people can “deal with stuff on your own”, “pray it away”, among other things. Luckily, everyone around me was supportive of my decision to go into therapy. They could see that I was in a bad spot in my life.
While in therapy, I have tackled other issues besides grief. I have been able to appropriately grieve my friend’s death, work on my marriage, which needed a lot of work, and most of all, on myself. I have been able to learn how to speak up for myself more, a lot about self-worth, which is something I now know that everyone needs to know about.
Through my blog, I have been able to share the importance of self-worth, self-care and self-love. Those may sound a lot alike but they are more different than they sound.
Self-worth is about knowing how much you mean to yourself and the world, knowing what you are willing to take from others and what you are not.
Self-care means more than nice bubble baths and lotions. It’s about the basics, which is something that some people struggle with, especially in the depths of depression, anxiety and/or other mental health issues. Bubble baths and lotions are nice, though. Self-love is about accepting yourself for who you are, and not minding the imperfections. That means loving the extra pounds, wrinkles, freckles, etc.
If you put those together, there is a sense of empowerment and change in yourself. I’ve felt this, and it does feel good. Like every other woman, some days, I don’t feel so great about myself, but for the most part, I have learned to not care what others think about me and my life. I’m in a much better place. It took a lot of work to get where I am, so be ready to do the work. It’s not always pretty, but it is well worth it.